![]() | This article is rated Start-class on Wikipedia's content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Untitled
I think the "Corruption in Mexico" article could benefit from new sections - PRI Rule, Economic Inequality/Inequity, and Organized Crime/Drug Trafficking. These can absorb the existing sections and provide more, detailed information about the evolution of corruption in Mexico. Efoxman42 (talk) 19:59, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
Does anyone have suggestions for the sections PRI rule, Economic Inequality/Inequity, and Organized Crime/Drug Trafficking? My current idea is to break these sections down into different components. PRI rule will look at consolidation of power, patronage networks, and democratization. Economic Inequality/Inequity will be focused on disparity and the distribution of resources. Organized Crime/Drug Trafficking will center on border issues and elected officials/prominent figures (specifically the administrations of Calderón and Peña Nieto). Efoxman42 (talk) 01:29, 2 October 2015 (UTC)
Here is my proposal for the revisions I have suggested: https://docs.google.com/a/rice.edu/document/d/1Csk7FkL10NHC771J03gxLRUlYq7PAjYn2RgN0zhUOMo/edit?usp=sharing Efoxman42 (talk) 05:04, 5 October 2015 (UTC)
"Corruption in Mexico" needs expansion and revision that will restructure the article – eliminate extraneous information, include links to relevant wiki articles, and elaborate on existing sections. To begin, the introduction section is a mere one sentence and does not provide any detailed insight into (or even broad conceptualization, definition, or background) of the topic. This assessment applies not just to the beginning of the article – in fact, the sections that serve as the article’s bulk, “In law enforcement” and “In the judiciary,” also offer little substantive information on major issues. These sections require further support and research, and ultimately, will need to contain new appropriate links to other wiki articles once edited. New sections to “Corruption in Mexico” will absorb these sections and include their content in a more concise, linear way. (Their content will not be deleted, but rather will be revised and incorporated into new sections). Currently within these sections, there are certain citations that need reevaluation – some data are not substantiated with legitimate, scholarly, or reliable sources. Some claims will be deleted entirely, and others will be reevaluated with more reputable sources. Beyond this, not all parts of the existing article are relevant to the topic. The sections “Case Studies” and “Anti-corruption activities” can be removed; they present sparse research and do not add anything fundamental to the overall entry. Efoxman42 (talk) 23:21, 7 October 2015 (UTC)
I will also be adding a new subsection -- "Media" -- to the section "Organized Crime." This subsection will look at transnational crime organizations' roles in silencing the media and stifling freedom of expression in Mexico. Efoxman42 (talk) 18:17, 9 October 2015 (UTC)
- Efoxman42 Your contributions to the article seem to be quite comprehensive. I would, however, recommend going more in depth when discussing the border issues and to talk more in depth about problems other than drug trafficking and how they all relate to corruption. I believe that the overall article could greatly benefit from a more comprehensive lead that briefly touches the main points of the article. Along with this, I think that your section on the PRI rule could use a short introduction that discusses who the PRI are. Your contribution flows very well and is easy to read and follow. One thing that the article seems to lack is a large amount of reliable sources. I think that adding more references would increase the validity of the article as you would have more than just one group's viewpoint. Jmarrs94 (talk) 19:31, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
- Efoxman42 I think you did a great job in describing the history and subsequent institutionalization of corruption in Mexico. However, I would focus on using examples to add specificity to the article in the PRI rule and Media sections to make your article even more thorough. I would also suggest mentioning any actions or even attempt at action the Mexican government has taken to reduce corruption. Overall, your contribution is well-organized and easy to read. Like Jmarrs94, I also think adding more sources would increase the validity of your article.Jwang19 (talk) 01:32, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
Overall, the flow of your article was easy to follow and definitely expanded the access of information compared to what the article was before. Your article would benefit in an increase in the number and types of sources. You can consider an increase in the number of academic journals, news sources, and international reports. Additionally, a greater development of historical context for your article would be helpful in connecting to modern day events as well. I think an increase in sourcing would help for that as well. Ensquared (talk) 04:02, 5 November 2015 (UTC)
Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Efoxman42. Peer reviewers: Jmarrs94, Jwang19, Annkat22, Ensquared.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 19:32, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Review
I think that this is a very well written article. You have definitely added a great deal of substance to the article as a whole, and the readability is great. However, I think that your article would benefit greatly from more sources. You have a great deal of information, but more sources would allow you to expand all of these ideas more thoroughly. With the addition of more resources, you would be able to provide many more opinions and substantive research about different topics on corruption. This would provide your article with more fluidity, comprehensiveness, perspectives, and overall material. One other thing that I would recommend doing would be to add more links to different topics that you mention. It will allow the reader to follow the article more thoroughly as well. Great job! Annkat22 (talk) 04:47, 5 November 2015 (UTC)
A few comments
This is a great contribution. Just a few suggestions:
- In the PRI rule section, you don't need to attribute the block quote three times - a wiki citation and lead-in should be sufficient. The same goes for the other block quotes in the Calderon administration and Media subsections.
- The transition to PAN rule section is entirely unsourced, so I'd recommend finding some citations for that part of the article.
Adding a few more sources would really help substantiate and expand the article's content. Please let me know if you have any questions or would like help on anything. GavinCross (talk) 02:32, 19 November 2015 (UTC)